Monday, January 2, 2017

Life in the South: Ice Skating Edition.


Happy 2017 everyone! Like most people, I plan to start the New Year with every good intention…and then see if I can make at least one of them last until February. Let’s hope keeping up with this blog sees through January 31st!
I’m in the middle of my second year in Savannah, Georgia, and my husband and I have just returned home from visiting my family in Minnesota for the holidays. It was a lovely visit, as always, and while home, I had many friends double checking their recollection of which city (country?) I currently live in. I’m used to this. I’m also used to an array of responses when I tell people where I live, but this time I received the most smiles and “ahs” of jealously. I admit, the transition from Minnesota to Savannah has been quite idyllic on the surface: warmer weather, no snow, tons of butter (thanks Paula Deen), 20 minutes from the ocean, and 2 hours from the world’s largest population of retired people (shout-out to Florida.)

Yes, these things are wonderful, but there have been some aspects that I have discovered during my time in the South (I call it my “cultural experience” to my Northern friends) that most Minnesotans might not realize about living in the South. I’ve started some posts about ‘Life in the South,’ and would like to do a series of entries this year as we begin our last full year in Savannah. So, without further ado, I would like to share my very first experience of 2017: Ice Skating.

             Growing up in Minnesota, with more frozen surfaces than unfrozen surfaces during the course of a year, and with cold-weather-born parents, it was pretty inevitable that I should learn how to skate. Starting with skating school and progressing to my debut in not one but two skating shows (spotlight roles as: Poppy #7 and Snowflake #4), I like to think that I can hold my own on the ice. Skating used to happen once a week through high school, which transitioned to once or twice a year since college, if that, but I still love the activity and enjoy it. One of the highlights of living in Moscow was outdoor skating at Gorky Park, as well as purchasing a pair of ice skates for about $10. These trusty Russian skates (strange that I was never able to find a pair of Russian shoes that fit me, but I managed to find ice skates) have stayed by my side for the past three years. I recently pulled them out yet again for their Southern experience, the likes of which I would like to share with you, though it may disappoint many a Northerner.

             Once a year, Savannah, Georgia sponsors what they call “Skate Fest.” For about two weeks at the end of December, Savannah floods its Civic Center and creates an ice rink. They charge about $7 for admission and skate rental, but you are only allowed to enter at the beginning or during an hour and a half session. There are about four to six sessions a day, and I assume they do this to keep numbers controlled. Despite my inherent feeling against this poorly timed endeavor, I ended up going to the last session not only of the day, but of the entire skating season. I went with my friend Taylor, whom I was astonished to learn had only ever skated at Skate Fest, and had actually LEARNED TO SKATE on that ice. Why was I astonished? Let me share my experience by telling you what you might be in for. However, please keep in mind that although I will share some interesting details, I still highly enjoyed my skating experience for the novelty of having access to a skate rink again, and that I plan to buy the punch card next year for even more skating access.

What to expect at Savannah’s Skate Fest:

1. There will be many, many people there. More than you imagined could possibly fit on a small surface of ice. Most of these people will move in a slow, steady circle around the rink, but there will be some lost along the way – those that actually make it out of the whirlpool to the wall (usually just relying on the wall to stop them instead of knowing how to stop) might not make it back. Steady on, brave ones.

2. If your behavior becomes viewed as questionable to the harm and safety of others, your articles of clothing will become top identifiers for the barking female voice on the loudspeaker. She will personally speak to YOU, the one in the red hat! She will tell you to either slow down, turn the right way, stop throwing ice flakes you picked up on the ground, or get off the ice. She will never actually appear, but her voice will be a threat enough to keep you in line. She may also potentially cause accidents, because once she announces the articles of clothing, everyone will lift their heads up to look around and see who it is, therefore taking their eyes off the ground and increasing the danger for everyone involved.

3. You will automatically become Keeper of the Ice. If there’s some small object lying on the ice, there is not a soul who will pick it up, no matter how many times there are near misses and blade chops near the object. After many carefully positioned circulations I finally managed to pick up both a straw (questionable) and a broken piece from a skate strap (dangerous from more than one point of view).

4. You will also become Safety Patrol. I rescued not one but two children from the throes of wiping out on the ice and becoming prey to the dozens of slashing ice blades, much closer to one’s hand when one’s butt is on the ground. One kid rebounded quickly and just needed an extra hand to pull himself up to the wall, but the other poor child looked up at me in terror because he couldn’t figure out how to get up, so I essentially scooped him up and half pushed/half pulled him to the wall.

5. You will very quickly age many decades and become quite curmudgeonly (unless of course, you are already a curmudgeon. Then you’ll just behave as normal.) When some young whippersnapper speeds past you and you watch said whippersnapper cut in and out of people like he’s practicing soccer footwork, you will most likely say to the person next to you, or just out loud to nobody, “that kid needs to slow down or he’s going to hurt someone!” If that kid falls as a result of not paying enough attention or not being careful enough, you will probably snicker or smirk to yourself.

6. If you go skating with someone, you will become very protective of them and you will most likely assume a death grip on them. I saw mothers fiercely drag their little ones along the wall to safety, with determined looks on their faces to HAVE FAMILY FUN, as well as couples hanging on to each other for dear life. I nearly skated through a couple of these ironclad companions, before realizing I would be better off just going around them.

7. Not only will you be better off going around the death grips, you will also be wise to avoid going directly next to the wall, for fear of becoming sucked into what I called “the snail wall.” The snail wall is composed of a variety of people who are not confident enough in their skating ability to let go of the wall, therefore they bravely trudge around the rink by clinging onto the wall and half pulling/half pushing themselves around the rink. Kudos to them for trying, and better luck next year!

8. If you use your cell phone while on the ice, you will probably fall. Or, you will make someone else fall. Or, you will drop your phone, causing a crowd panic as you fling yourself to the surface of the ice without a second thought. Why are you on your phone with razor blades strapped to your feet again?

9. Due to the extreme amount of people, the lack of proper temperature control, and goodness knows what else, the surface of the ice will become wet by the end of your session. Not post-zamboni wet, but 32-degrees-outside-and-sunny wet. Indoors! This was baffling to me, yet also a little funny when I noticed people with large wet spots on their back and/or front sides due to a fall instead of whispy white patches like normal ice spills. 

10. Finally, the last thing you should expect at Skate Fest is: to have fun. Despite all of the minor mishaps, the experience of both exercising and socializing with a friend while sharing in a fun activity with nearly half of the city of Savannah is a fantastic time. Skating in the South is…different than my previous skating circumstances, but hey, it’s still skating. I’m already looking forward to going next year. But I might bring a poncho in case I fall in the puddles. 

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